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Best Practices for
Online Meeting Manners

Dear ISI friends,

13 tips for making any online meeting better

For the past  few years  I’ve been a guest on, and host of, a lot of online meetings 
  learning some best practices for participating in any online meeting.
For more professional and tech-related advice
here is a Zoom article 
"Working from home like a pro"
with excellent professional advice  I just learned a lot from it!


These 13 tips can make the difference between the meeting being either:
  1. with GOOD BEHAVIOR:  a great experience for everyone
  2. or with BAD MISTAKES:  looking bad, being an annoying, or wasting other's time,
       with people offended at each other's inconsiderate behavior.
​
The GOAL of an online meeting is to be 
as much like an IN-PERSON meeting as possible.
so you should act as respectfully, considerately of others
      as you would in a live meeting.


However, 
with this newfangled technology, there are some big differences
that we all need to learn how to manage gracefully.


TWO TYPES OF ONLINE MEETINGS:
1.  Small, intimate -- a few people seeing and hearing each other onscreen CLOSEUP
2.  Big, anonymous --up to a few thousand people,
ONSCREEN just a host and few others. Host can choose to let guests on,
Usually guests can type comments, but are automatically muted and mostly unseen


I am talking HERE about
     Small Intimate meetings

              2 - 30 people taking turns talking.

BE PATIENT
Some people are new to online meetings and don’t understand how to behave together       
       sometimes come across as being rude,
​                  without realizing it,
so we must all be patient to help each other learn
   Some of these are the same respectful behaviors you would do in any in-person meeting.
      but video also has some different issues that 
take getting used to.
   It is NOT a performance by the host that you can watch passively like a TV show.
        It is a real live group meeting that you are expected to participate in if you show up..

Let's make our meetings the GREAT ones,
by following the Good Behavior best practices here.
(and not unwittingly do  the corresponding BAD MISTAKES that can  annoys the other participants



BE READY
1. GOOD! Do THIS :  TEST AHEAD to BE sure your equipment is setup properly
Zoom is usually very easy to use, but might require a few clicks.
Make sure you have STRONG wifi connection.
Setup near your wifi router makes it stronger, or plug in by ethernet cable is best

Wear earbuds/headphones so we don't get extra noise from your end.
We want to hear only each other speaking,
Guests can also MUTE yourself when you have any extra noise.
MUTE MUTE MUTE!!!


MISTAKE!  DON"T DO THIS: using up your precious meeting time by one person trying
     to figure out glitches, that they should have done before. 

    or be constantly cutting in and out, (if you can avoid it)

2. GOOD! Do THIS!:  Beginning and ending on time,
Some meetings are drop-in so its up to the host to keep to the specified time.
BUT if beginning and ending times are specified,
don't keep other people waiting on either end... 
and with small meetings it DOES interrupt the meeting with people popping in and out
unless the host has "MUTED ALL".

So if possible, best to arrive a couple minutes early to start promptly.
don't set your calendar and alarm to the exact start of meeting, set it all 5 minutes ahead.

Some meetings may be more relaxed, and you can drop in whenever.
If you are the host, start it on time, no matter who is late.


MISTAKE!  DON"T DO THIS:  waste time and disrespect people who are
already in your meeting, by waiting for someone else to show up
as if the late person is more important than them!
Every person attending is important, and so is their time, so make best use of the time.


BE SEEN
3. GOOD! Do THIS!: Join with video if at all possible.
You might feel more comfortable not being on camera due to a bad hair day, etc.,
but others don't know who you are, 
or what your expressions are, so we miss a lot of your communication if we cannot see you. 
    you don't have to look great,
​
         seeing your real face is better than seeing you as a black shadow
you might have valid reasons you cannot use the Video function,
but if you can, you should.


MISTAKE!  DON"T DO THIS: choosing  to not show yourself in video
is like having some people in a meeting wearing masks!
Feels rather weird and disconnected, unless you already know each other well.


4. GOOD! Do THIS!:  BE aware of HOW you look at the camera
DO LOOK at yourself on the camera and the screen so you realize how others are seeing you.
You are PART of the group, not a lurker.
This is a group discussion, not a performance by the host.
We all like to look at all the guests to see who is there.


MISTAKE!  DON"T DO THIS:  some people don't even look at the screen! 
 it REALLY seems weird 

look like you are not even paying attention to the meeting. 
In this kind of meeting everyone is looking at everyone else,
just like you are sitting in a circle face to face,
and even CLOSER!
so try to present yourself as you would when people are looking back at you.
Show with some expression that you are engaged in the conversation, 
Not just passively watching an entertainment show.


5. GOOD! Do THIS!: place your laptop's camera up at eye level or higher
    (use boxes, books or shelf under your laptop
       so you are looking at us like an equal,
          or looking UP to the camera,
It makes you look nicer, younger, more energetic, less intimidating

MISTAKE!  DON"T DO THIS:  leave it on your desk so you are looking down at us, 
makes you look intimidating, like you are hovering above us.
or worse, that you are looking up away from the camera,
       while  we are looking closeup at your chin or up your nose!
You won't look good this way. 
​Just look at your own picture in the meeting and you will see


BE HEARD
6. GOOD! Do THIS!: BE quieter: Talking online is different,
the microphone can amplify you LOUDER to everyone
           and we can hear every sound you vocalize
also, due to slow or imperfect internet connections, 
   Speak a bit more SLOWLY 
   Pause OFTEN!  

Ask clear questions of of others, 
Give them time to respond.
Do more facial expressions and hand gestures (thumbs up! etc.)  to communicate rather than vocal noises.

  
MISTAKE!  DON"T DO THIS:   make lots of background comments and noises into the microphone,
people can hear it loudly and it interrupts the speaker,
except in occasional times, 
when group affirmation is nice.

Don't Be afraid  of silences, gaps in conversation, 
Dominate the conversation just because no one else is speaking.
Take  control and steering the conversation just to fill the silences.
Don't make lots of extra noises that interrupt the speaker

 If you are NOT wearing earbuds, we hear all the sounds  around you.
        so take care to not be too noisy,


7. GOOD! Do THIS!:. Learn to LOVE THE MUTE BUTTON! 
Mute yourself if you have any 
extra noise on your end,

until you have something to say, then UNMUTE yourself.
    TIP -- holding the space bar down temporarily UNMUTES you to say something quick. 

(I just learned this!)

​It is disrupting to the group to have one person have a lot of background noise in doubt, 
Often people don’t realize that they are being too noisy,
and that we can hear their background noise, 
​so it can make it very distracting and confusing.

 MISTAKE!  DON"T DO THIS:, phone calls, background conversations, TV, doorbells, heavy breathing
all of that WE don't want to hear 
so
 MUTE yourself when not speaking if you like making extra noises,
or if you have any noise around you.



BE RESPECTFUL

8. GOOD! Do THIS!:  Be focused on the meeting,
MISTAKE!  DON"T DO THIS:  constantly coming in and out,
or doing other chores in front of us.
, or eating while you are in the meeting, (see above)
as if you are watching a mindless TV show.
that shows great disrespect for the other guests,
that you are not focused and contributing to the conversation,
it drags the energy down in the whole meeting.
you don't know what was said when you disappeared., 
Or even that you LOOK like you are not paying attention is quite annoying.
In a Zoom meeting we all can see and hear you CLOSE-UP!
so we really react as if you are sitting next to us, so act accordingly.

Would you do any of these activities in an in-person meeting in a classroom or ?
If not, then don't do it in our Zoom meeting either.


9 GOOD! Do THIS!:  you need to eat or drink, turn away from the camera and do it discreetly, not in our face.
(unless everyone is also eating at the same time)


BIG MISTAKE!  DON"T DO THIS: worse is if you are looking down and EATING something
so we see the food going in your mouth. especially if you are NOT looking at us;
DON"T DO THAT!
​

10. GOOD! Do THIS!:.  THIS IS THE HARDEST ONE -- 
Look INTO the camera, at least occasionally,
    preferably when you are speaking. 


CULTURES May vary in this.
Americans like to look directly into people's eyes during  conversation 
     to show respect and focused listening.
     However, Other cultures (African, Mexican, some Asian) may consider it
    DISrespectful to look directly into someone's eyes too much, especially to an older person!


We all want to look at each other on the screen, naturally,
but ​ that means you are not looking IN the camera at your audience. 
remember to look straight into the camera when you can.
It makes everyone else feel you are connecting with them.

MISTAKE!  DON"T DO THIS: If you NEVER look into THE CAMERA
it  feels like you are avoiding us, not engaging.  not listening,
in that case, maybe better to NOT have your camera on, rather than annoy people.
You NEED to be aware of what you look like on camera.


11. GOOD! Do THIS!: Introduce yourself briefly when you join
, usually your name shows on the screen. 
Just as in-person, be graceful about entering and exiting.
and conversely, welcome new people joining, if its a smaller group. 
Everyone likes being acknowledged and welcomed.

MISTAKE!  DON"T DO THIS:   don't interrupt too much if others are already in a conversation. 

12. GOOD! Do THIS!:  Keep the Conversation flowing in a balanced dialogue
  LIsten respectfully and actively. 
Let others take turns. courteously.
  Don't let one person dominate the conversation by talking on endlessly.
But don't passively watch as if you are not part of the meeting.
MISTAKE!  DON"T DO THIS:   don't interrupt too much if others are already in a conversation.  don't stop the momentum of the conversation with constant interruptions. This disrespects the people who showed up on time and they'll feel they wasted their time and not come back.


13. GOOD! Do THIS!:  Host should keep control of the meeting
by muting guest who are making too much noise,
or possibly muting ALL guests unless they are speaking.
This shows respect to whomever is speaking and really involved.
MISTAKE!  DON"T DO THIS:  Don't let the least involved people ruin the meeting for others. 


Enough for now.... 
This all takes time and a few tries to get used to 
 and I didn't even talk about how to show your best angle!!


Thank you for using these best practices
    to help us all have a successful experience together 
            --  Peggy

(c) Peggy Pollard 2020
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